Archive for January, 2010
Choosing Baby (Pt 2) – From D.I.N.K. (Double Income No Kids) to S.I.N.K (Single Income New Kid)
Jan
My husband and I had lived the D.I.N.K. life for eleven years when we became pregnant. We ate out most days, sometimes for two meals. Bought whatever gadgets we wanted, books and movies galore. We planned a yearly vacation and had weekend retreats in between. Life was good and we were pretty happy. None of that compared to welcoming our daughter to the world.
All the material cluttering our lives melted away and seemed so much less important. It was nice, don’t get me wrong. I like my movie collection. I like that we have walls of books covering our house. I really like our house. I LOVE my baby girl. More than I thought I was capable of loving. So, as my leave approached its end, our conversations began to drift from all the things we would do with our daughter, and started being framed as all the things we would miss while she was in daycare.
That’s when it started getting really bad for me. I’ll be honest, I was dying inside already. Waking in the night crying and not knowing why. I felt this aching sense of lose and I couldn’t pinpoint its cause because during the day I was so genuinely happy and fulfilled.
We had found a great daycare and we had a smooth transition plan in place. I would return on a short week while Daddy stayed home with baby so I could get back in the groove without fretting daycare right away. Daddy would work four tens and have Fridays off and I would use vacation to be home Mondays for five weeks. I thought it would work out. I hoped I would survive it, after all, lots of other moms do it. Right?
After the first week we knew what our hearts had been telling us. It doesn’t matter what other people do. It matters what we do, in the here and now. Because in only a week she was already acting different. Coming home tired and cranky. Sullen and reserved when put down, like she didn’t expect us to come back for her. That was enough. I might have survived the gruelling schedule, we may have been able to make it work. But at what cost? How much of our sweet social baby would be chipped away as the hours in daycare grew longer once I ran out of vacationed Mondays? If one week could instill noticeable changes, would one month be worse, or one year?
In the end it came down to one simple truth. When your lying on your deathbed the things you’ve owned mean nothing, the only things that do, are your memories and the loving relationships of your life. The things you DID. I can always go back to work if this new life doesn’t fly, but I can never get back my baby’s childhood or the time we would lose together while working outside the home earning not a whole lot after daycare costs.
So for her, because I love her more than I can articulate, I will embrace this new life. At full speed with as much optimism and bravery I can muster. This is for you my love. My time. My attention. My every breath.
Choosing Baby – Why & How I Decided to Leave My Job (Pt. 1)
Jan
After tomorrow I will be officially unemployed. I didn’t get laid off, my company is actually still there, and no one has burned down the building. I chose unemployment. I chose to be home to raise my daughter the way my husband and I have decided she deserves to be raised. I chose the people I love over the things that I covet. It was a long, difficult and stressful decision. Here is the windy version for those still shocked and perplexed by my seemingly sudden change of heart.
In an economic slump, when so many people are desperately seeking employment, it sounds almost insane that I would be choosing to leave my career and hard won position of eight years. I worked so hard, fought so long, to slowly earn my degree while working to pay for it. I never wanted kids growing up. I wanted a successful career, to be the best I could be at something, and generally rock the chick power. Once I reached a point in my life where my husband and I decided our tune had changed and we wanted kids, I never stopped for a second to think my career would be effected. Sure, I’d probably have to adjust my schedule, stop working 15 hour days and learn to leave work at work. Plenty of other career women do it. Just fine. No sweat.
I was ridiculously naive.
My excuse? I’m an only child, whose childhood was rough at best, I never understood babies or cared to be around them. Honestly, they freak me out man. To little and breakable. To smelly and loud. It took me thirty years to have one because I was so afraid I would mess up an innocent little person with my seeming lack of maternal instinct. Everyone says it’s different when it’s your own babe… I didn’t believe it back then, but everyone was right.
The moment my little girl came into the world wide awake and drug free, warm in my arms, I had an epiphany. This was my success. THIS was what I was meant to be. A mother. Her mother. I felt like Neo being jacked in for the first time, a million gigs of data streaming into a blank reality. Once you choose the red pill you can’t go back, your no longer the person you were then, your changed in the most fundamental and irrevocable way.
In that moment I became everything I always feared I never could be. I was flooded with love, joy, and the biggest natural high of my existence (truly natural birth is FANTASTIC). I wanted to give her everything, but not just stuff. I wanted her to feel the joy she’d given me in her life, to reach for her dreams, to know how much she was loved and wanted. We spent my maternity leave dreaming together. Her; of things I can only wonder at, me; of the things I wanted to teach her and the experiences I hope she will have. Birth was magnificent, my infant a joy, and then the reality came cascading over me. I was weeks away from returning to work and faced leaving the center of my universe behind… with strangers.
Come back tomorrow for Part 2 – How we made the change from D.I.N.K. (Double Income No Kids) to S.I.N.K (Single Income New Kid)
How I lost 30lbs three months post-partum…
Jan
You read that right. Yes, I have really lost 30+ lbs. since giving birth in September. No, I have not signed up for any crazy diet plans. Yes, I’m healthy and happily raising my growing baby girl while sheding the pounds like winter layers of clothes. How?
I know for myself that the combination of breast feeding and cutting out High Fructose Corn Syrup (I really can’t knock it enough) from my diet have greatly improved my body and self image. I started out weighing 201lbs. before I became pregnant last winter. Through my minor diet changes (seriously cut the HFCS, increased fresh fruits & veggies) and adding a walk over lunch 2-3 times a week I gained only 7lbs. by the end of my pregnancy.
*DO NOT intentionally diet while pregnant, talk to your doctor about any weight loss to avoid nutritional deficiency. My OB/GYN worked very close with me to monitor that the baby was getting everything she needs.
Now, three and a half months later, I’m down to 175lbs.! How is this possible? I really haven’t been focusing on weight-loss. I’ve tried so many things in the past, just about every phad, with no luck. And here now, without even trying, I’m losing weight like crazy and feel better than I have in a decade. Three simple lifestyle changes have got me here:
1. Reduce/Remove High Fructose Corn Syrup from your diet.
You would be SHOCKED to know what that crap is in. Pretty much every processed food in America including but not limited to: Juice, Salad Dressing, Ketchup, Breads, Canned Fruits, Soups, Candy, Cake, Soda Pop, Energy Drinks, Syrups, even most “honey” is just flavored corn syrup. HFCS has been found to contain mercury (remember the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland? That’s Mercury poisoning), cause obesity and diabetes in children as well as adults, and recently to cause organ damage because most of it is manufactured from Monsanto genetically modified corn. Other countries don’t use it, we have the Corn Industry lobbyists to thank…
There is hope, I have found alternatives to every food mentioned that do NOT contain HFCS. You just have to read labels, a lot. You don’t even have to go all organic to do it, but it does help.
2. Breatfeed
Yes, I’m a HUGE advocate for breastfeeding. It’s not just great for baby, but awesome for mommy too. For a whole lot of great information on why, check out Best for Babes, they have about everything you’d ever want to know about it.
3. Get more active
I know everyone says “exercise”. I don’t. Really, I hate it. It’s boring. Just being honest. But what I HAVE done is increase the activity in my daily routine and add more out & about to our entertainment roster. We go to parks and hike. We hit up the Farmers market on Saturdays just to wander. I carry the baby, everywhere. I do chores with her on me so I get snuggles and an extra 14 lbs. of weight to lift. Play Wii. The family games on that thing are great, and the Wii Fit game is more play than exercise but every calorie that gets burned doesn’t care how you burned it. It’s still gone.
I may just be a freak of nature. I hope not, because I’d like to think sharing this will help someone else achieve similar results and joy. Good luck 
Breastfeeding Benefits Mom and Baby – Reduces Heart Disease!
Jan
I’m quickly becoming, not only a breastfeeding mommy myself, but also a huge breastfeeding advocate to others. The more I learn from my endless reading and Google-ing, the more I feel I need to get the message out there —
Breastfeeding ROCKS!
There is no question that breast milk is infinitely better for your baby than formula. I’m truly not trying to make formula users feel bad. I completely understand that circumstances for each mommy are different and each of us needs to feel confident in our own choices for our children. However, the facts are the facts. And the truth is, breast milk is especially designed by nature to be the perfect food. No pharmaceutical company can recreate the lasting benefits of sharing your immune system and love with your infant. On top of that, really people, do babies need High Fructose Corn Syrup? Why is that even in there, and often the second ingredient! You might as well fill bottles with soda pop…
Besides all the great benefits to baby — Immune system boost, reduced illness, enhanced cognitive development etc. — A new study shows there are significant health benefits to Mom. In fact, this article from Diabetes Health details a recent study that found breastfeeding reduced the occurrence of metabolic syndrome, a precursor to type 2 diabetes. In the study, they found that women who breast fed one to five months reduced the likelyhood of developing the disease 39%. If that’s not good enough, breastfeeding more than nine months jumps that to 56%! That’s more than half, just for doing something that your body naturally does, how great is that?
Sing to Baby, even if your tune deaf…
Jan
If there’s one thing that keeps Kahlan happy while I pack her around the house doing chores, it’s singing. I can sing song nonsense all day and she smiles, laughs and squeals in delight. However, for the sake of sanity and maintaining my grown up vocabulary skills, I decided I needed more material. You can only sing “You are my Sunshine” so many times…
My google hunt brought me this little depository of every kiddie song I could ever want to learn, Bus Songs is a parents vocal chord dream! Not only is it FREE, a huge plus for me, but it’s easy to navigate. The site is easy on the eyes as well as a breeze to surf. There are even video clips for those of us rhyme deaf parents that need examples.
If your singing yourself dry with the same old kiddie tunes, check it out!
Tags: baby, nursery rhymes, sing, song
Boon Highchair Giveaway on Natural Mommie!
Jan
Hey out there fellow Geek Chic Mamas! Natural Mommie is giving away an uber modern designer Boon Highchair over on her blog… Go check it out!
Oh, and a big shout out to Boon for making awesome BPA free baby gear!
Tags: boon, giveaway, natural mommie
My Glass Featured at Salty Teacup!
Jan
I don’t normaly mix my parenting blog with my DKGraham blog, but this is too good not to share:
My 100% Handmade Bullseye Glass Pendants will be featured in an upcoming designers collective at The Salty Teacup in February.
Pop over to the DKGraham main blog for details and don’t be late for this very important date!
Tags: Bullseye Glass, glass, handmade, pendant
Power to the BOOBS!
Jan
As a professional Graphic Designer and new breastfeeding mommy, I must say, THIS is a striking example of effective design. Use that white space like you mean it! Oh Yeah Babe!
It’s day three of baby in daycare and having spent the last three months successfully breastfeeding I’m sore and beat down on this whole pump at work thing. I’m tired, miserable and missing the crap out of my munchkin. All that wonderful, peaceful boob time and the bonding we shared over her meals seems a bittersweet memory now that I’m at work for eight extremely long hours attaching myself regularly to a lifeless plastic milk sucker. Literally, this SUCKS!
What a nice moment to smile over a well designed ad supporting breastfeeding, which I found while reading one of my new favorite blogs over on PHD in Parenting, and reminding me why I chose to subject my tender and sore breasts to this awful pumping routine. My number one parenting resolution, after achieving my 100% natural birth, was to continue with 100% natural feeding and avoid any and all formulas. Especially after learning the #2 ingredient in many commercial formulas is High Fructose Corn Syrup, there was no way my bundle was getting anything but mommy’s best boob for dinner. FYI, they have pretty much proved what the corn industry has been denying, HFCS is ruining our bodies and our kids health, so if you do use formula PLEASE read the labels and opt for the HFCS free brands.
I just realized the “e” is also a nipple in the ad… BRILLIANT!
