Approaching ONE

Approaching the one year mark is a bittersweet event. In just a few weeks little Kahlan will be diving face first into her very own birthday cake and I imagine I’ll be busting out the tissues. It’s strange to always feel torn being a mother. I’m all at once thrilled, excited, remorseful and scared shitless. Yay she’s growing up, learning like crazy, and blossoming before my eyes into an amazing little lady! Wholly crap she’s growing up, I’m losing my little peanut, and dear gods she’s gonna be a teenager one day…..

Knowing these innocent days of boundless joy and unhesitating snuggles are finite is sad yet beautiful. I’ve learned to bask in each hug like it’s the last and found time to stop for one more round of silly songs. I know the day will come when hugs are too embarrassing and mommy’s off tune singing is something to fear. So for now I memorize each embrace and sing ridiculous tunes until my throat is hoarse, and hope time will slow down just a little so my baby girl can stay my baby for just a few moments more.

She may not remember these first few years, but I will never forget them.

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