Making the Most of a Penny Pincher Holiday

Until our government gets off it’s A@@ and fixes our ridiculous lack of maternity and paternity support (we are one of the ONLY industrialized nations with no federally mandated family leave coverage) many new parents may be in the same penny pinching mode we are at the moment:

BROKE

Just in time for the holidays, the most expensive time of year, we are living on the tightest budget we ever have. So how do you make the best holiday joyous on little to no money?

EASY

1. Remember the old days when people just enjoyed each others company? Embrace the spirit of Christmas past and agree to get together… Without presents.

2. If “no presents” is too cold turkey for you consider organizing a present exchange so everyone only needs to get one gift for someone. Secret Santa, or even a White Elephant Exchange, can be just as fun and easier on everyone’s wallet!

3. Make gifts! Even if your not super crafty, a thoughtful gift that took your time and hands to create is always more meaningful than a commercially bought knick-knack. Bake cookies, make cards, write a poem and frame it, the possibilities are endless. Who wouldn’t love a made up gift certificate for a foot rub or “Get out of chores” day!

4. Find cheap thrills. There are plenty of spendy Nutcrackers and Christmas Carols to see, but there are just as many freebies out there if you take the time to look. Try searching your local paper or parent groups. They are sure to be listing some free attractions. For those in the Portland area, here are a few:
Peacock Lane Lights

http://www.peacocklane.net/

Holiday Ships & Bonfire

http://www.cityofmilwaukie.org/departments/comservices/wintersolstice/solstice.html

I could go on, but you get the idea. The moral of the post is, remember WHY the holidays are special and resist the urge to be sucked into debt keeping up with the holiday “Joneses”. Get a smaller tree, make your own cocoa and snuggle up with those you love in front of a toasty fire.

Happy Holidays!

Tags: budget, save

Getting “Squirely” With It

Squir • el • y (skwer • el • lee) noun
1. The state of the infant in which all movement is rapid, unpredictable and otherwise crafty in it’s attempt at escape.
2. Any difficult to anticipate movement rendered quickly and inclusive of mischief.

Kahlan is officialy eleven weeks old and with all the Holiday crazies next week, the three month mark is fast approaching. It daily astounds me how rapidly infants change. One minute she’s Jell-O baby, the next she’s super wiggle worm attempting her first daring escape from the swing, my arms or whatever else is keeping her immobile. Luckily I’ve thus far been able to thwart her evil plans, but she’s getting SQUIRELY!

It all started two days ago. A nice gray rainy Oregon day like any other. We were enjoying a bit of midafternoon tummy time on the play mat, Mommy flexing her windpipe and baby head bopping to my throaty rendition of Scarlet Begonias. Man, that kid loves her tunes!

Then, like it was always possible and nothing new, the munchkin lands one perfect arm plant sync slash head bop and “TA DA!”, her once tummy bound roundness flipped onto her back with a big fat grin and squieal of delight.

What a triumph! Her first mobile moment and again without a camera. My joy was short lived though, as I soon realized there was now a new game brewing. Like every little achievement, Kahlan latched on to this new flip maneuver like a starved babe on the boob. However, the mat was old news. Been there, done that Mommy. She quickly adapted the head swing body flip so at unpredictable opportunities she can fly back and attempt to roll, not just over, but out of just about anything including my arms.

Game on Mommy… Game on.

Newborn Holiday Guide

I always loved the holidays as a kid. The hustle, the bustle and of course anticipating Santas arrival down the chimney. Once I reached adulthood, reality came crashing down and what was once an exciting and joyful time of year, became stressful and WAY to expensive. The holidays became more about outdoing last years gifts and blowing a months income doing it, than spending time with family.

There is something magical about having a new baby. The anticipation returned, the joy rekindled and I have to at least pretend I still believe Santa comes down the chimney. We went simple this year. Being on maternity leave, six weeks of which were unpaid, we had to. The days of blowing minds and our wallets are over. Just a little “Charlie Brown” tree, a new stocking for the Munchkin, and a few “family” gifts. I’d tell you what, but then we would know what we bought ourselves and spoil the fake surprise Christmas morning!

Being on a new tighter, penny scrounging budget this year realy brought into perspective what is truly valuable and worth having. Sure it’s nice to buy DVDs every Tuesday, books nearly daily and picking up a warm frothy peppermint mocha in the mornings isn’t half bad.

I’ve found though, there is a certain satisfaction in the “freebies”. Waking up to a smiling baby, warm Hubby snuggles on a cold winter walk, making a game out of penny pinching at the grocery store, cooking new crazy dishes because leftovers are no longer disposable and getting super sleuthy about finding free admision family activities.

Getting our first tree with Kahlan was hilarious and fun, not a chore. Having to dicker down to the $10.99 special didn’t feel like a sacrifice. We just laughed and admired our baby proportional Christmas twig. We didn’t need a big tree, we don’t need a ton of “stuff” under it either. This year we got the greatest gift already, our little Kahlan. So although all that stuff is nice, just being together, with our daughter on her first Christmas, is all I want from Santa…

Tags: first christmas, newborn, stocking

Parenthood : Paranoid

Remember the SAT word association pairs? You were given two words like dog:cat and then had to know that chicken:man was equivalent because the association was the same number of legs or some other nonsense. I’m not sure if parenthood:paranoid ever came up, but I sure hope I answered something meaning they have more in common than just starting with P and ending in D.

Everyday of being a new Mommy is an adventure that likely would end in the cute “lesson learned” minute if it were a sitcom. But not every lesson is cute or humorous. The first close call, no matter how unlikely or easily resolved still shakes you to your core. It is one thing to face your own mortality head on, to then quiver in fear soaked panic at the very thought your child may get so much as thier first cold let alone be hospitalized. Surgery? Someone grab the smelling salts…

What started as a minor rash for our new nephew, a mere three weeks younger than Kahlan, quickly turned our entire familly into paranoid fearfull wrecks. In the week following Dev and his Mommies stay with us, his little baby rash developed first into larger pimple sized pustuals and then took over his little system. 2 weeks after thier visit we get a call… Dev has been hospitalized, he has a high fever, some kind of infection and a silver dollar sized absess on his chest. It might be MRSA.

Pre-parenthood response:
Offer to rush down to help in any way posible. Visit them in the hospital.

Post-parenthood response:
Offer heartfelt condolences and best wishes for a positive outcome. Jump on Internet and research MRSA. Have a panic attack becuase that crap is super contagious and your newborn just spent a week snuggling up for cute pictures with the now hospitalized cousin. Do more research. Inspect every inch of our newborn. Call back to see how cousin is doing, ask if they know what it is and if it’s contagious for the hundreth time. Inspect newborn again. Debate with spouse if what we thought was just regular old baby acne is realy something else. Second guess your eyes, your instincts and every tiny blemish for hours. Break down and call the pediatrition on a Sunday morning in tears convinced your baby is next. Ban anyone from coming near the baby or visiting who could have had contact. Consider cancelling Thanksgiving. Then consider cancelling every familly get together for the foreseable future, moving to a remote hermit location and installing a germ proof baby sized habit trail.

Get the call – NOT MRSA, just some unavoidable bad luck bacterial infection that unfortunatly absessed.

Cancel plane tickets to Alaska wilderness. Call off code-red. Reduce panic attack to

Tags: cradle cap, MRSA, newborn, skin

Growing Like a Tree!

On initiation to the new parents club, everyone makes sure to tell you how fast time flies with a newborn and to treasure every moment. I’m starting to feel that precious time slipping away as the grains of sand count down to my inevitable return to the workforce. My 5 week old baby is so far advanced from the little smoosh she started out as, that her birth seems farther and farther away.

Now over 10lbs and growing like a tree, Kahlan is learning new things faster than I can keep track of them. Yesterday, she was madly flailing her arms trying to suck her hands, now this morning the thumb flew straight into her mouth like an old pro. Where once she peered around in no particular direction and minimal focus, today she is bright eyed, sharply tracking objects and making eye contact when spoken to.

Most surprising to me, she is developing language skills already. Obviously, she’s not talking with words, but her little grunts and gurgles are starting to be mixed with little voice sounds. Her first cooings are daily starting to reveal the sweet timber of her voice. Even more astounding is the realization she is beginning to recognize words, or at least responding to the tone they are said in. At 5:30, when daddy pulls in the driveway, Kahlan lights up with the biggest smile when I exclaim “Daddy! Daddy’s home!”.

When she wakes up fussing and hungry, I talk to her to let her know I hear her and am nearby, not until I say “Boob time!” does she quiet down and patiently wait for a change and to be fed.
It feels like magic watching her grow and learn, even at this tiny and fundamental stage. It will be all to soon when her first calls for “Daddy!” fill the halls with her bell like voice. I only hope she figures out “Mommy” before resorting to calling me “Boob”…

Tags: growth, infant, tree

Kids ‘N Pets

There are varying opinions on the issue of pets and babies. Some recommend no cats for a while, others say the more the merrier. Each Doctor is different, but in my own search for information I found more research supporting the benefits of pets around babies than reasons to ditch the furry siblings.

I myself, like plenty of people I know are out there, spent the first chunk of my life with only my “fur kids”. In fact it wasn’t until the last few years I even considered a “real” baby. My dogs ARE my babies. Even our cat has wiggled her way onto the pack. So when we found out we were pregnant I was determined to make us all one happy family.
I’d done my research, there are plenty of studies showing evidence that having pets as a child reduces allergies, lowers blood pressure and generally contributes to a happy childhood. So where does all the negative advice come from?

I’d heard it all in the first few weeks. “Oh we had to get rid of our cat, Docs orders!”
“We keep the dog in another room, we don’t want germs on the baby!”
“Oh, you just wait, you think you love them so much but once that baby comes…”
And on and on.

So we are a month into parenthood and so far I haven’t seen any reasons to change our pet lifestyle. Sure, I love my little one more than I thought humanly possible. That enormous feeling didn’t diminish my love for her furry siblings. Sure, they get slightly less attention since feeding and changing the baby comes before Frisbee and gummy rubs. But baby naps come frequently, and gummy rubs and Frisbee make it into our day. I wouldn’t trade the companionship or love my little girl will experience through her life with these great animals for anything. Not a pristine house, or a hair free baby blanket. Life with animals can be messy, yes, but is life in general or especially with a baby any less so?
I don’t think so

Tags: allergies, baby, cats, dogs, pets

The days that make it all worth it…

After a difficult week in nursing land, reminiscent of some college freshman hazing ritual except initiating new moms into parenthood instead of adulthood, days like today make it all worth it.

It seems I’ve earned a reprieve from the growth spurt week and my baby girl not only reverted back to her sweet snuggly self, but all that hard fought nurturing has given me a new gift today.

When the soft mewlings of my little one called me from slumberland this morning I was greeted from over the crib rails by the most beatifull thing I’ve ever seen. Instead of just calming down and waiting for food time, Kahlan opened her eyes, looked straight into mine and literally burst into the biggest brightest smile I’ve ever seen! She knew me, and not only that but was HAPPY, happy to see me looking down on her! I wish there was a way to bottle up these kinds of firsts so later in life when the world gets us down, mommy could just open up her little jar and feel all that love wash over her all over again

Tags: newborn

Babies SUCK

No, realy. They SUCK. All day, all night. Suck, suck, suck. The first week breastfeeding was tough. There is definitly a learning curve on both sides. Mommy learning when and how to offer the goods, and baby how to take hold without ripping off an apendage. Once we made it through the rough spot everything seemed easy. Of course, I still only slept an hour or two at a time, but we had a system, and it worked.

Welcome week 3. Oh, did the baby book mention a teeny tiny growth spurt this week? Yes? Hello 24/7 boob duty. All that time I was using to blog, read and do chores from my phone… Gone. Sorry blogaudience but this week I’ve barely gotten enough shut eye to feed myself let alone surf the blogosphere. The updates are now few and far between.

The books fail to explain exactly what they mean by “growth spurt”. Allow me to explain. We were nursing steady every 2-3 hours for about 30 min including burp time. Then mommy could put her down, grab a potty break, snack and a good 1-2 hour nap. Then one day this week, like a switch had gone off, we are feeding every hour on the hour, getting upset tummies and needing to be extra burped, gas gas gas, mommy runs to the bathroom only to barely get back in time to start all over again.

It was a lot easier when daddy was home to make food, it took me 3 hours in between all the feeding to put together a lunch consisting of more than snack cups of applesuace (my breakfast since I can grab it and nurse).

Since she’s eating so much her little tummy gets upset too. So now on top of the constant boob duty, poor little girl is so uncomfy she’s barely sleeping for long in between either. And the sucking is the only thing that settles her. The boob, her hand or my finger, if there isnt something in her suck range she’s fussy. Im loath to break my steadfast no pacifier stand, but too much more of this we may have to compromise. Luckily, the pediatrition recomended Mylicon drops. What a life saver! These little baby gas drops let me get a full hour nap today, without which I was on the verge of collapse.

Pediatritions are excellent! They are on call for all of your questions no matter how ridicoulouse and if they can’t give an answer over the phone will squeeze you in with a days notice. If only all doctors operated like this, less people would probably wait too long for treatment when things are realy serious.

Tags: newborn, nursing

Baby Update

Our 2 week appointment has come and gone, they grow up so fast already! Kahlan is the picture of health. She’s well past her birth weight coming in at 8lb 9oz & 21″ long. The juandice is about gone now, just the slightest tinge to her button nose. The Dr says this is totally normal and is well on it’s way to disapearing. We are just starting to see some baby acne, but again completely normal for her age.

She is hitting her first of many growth spurts and is keeping mommy very busy with the increased diapers and feedings. She is already in the 75th percentile and the Dr is speculating she will be tall, probably taller than mommy!

Many more firsts this week but our favorite is the loss of her umbilical stump. Firstly, no one really gets across how scary that thing looks as it falls away. YUK! And second, there may not be anything more fun than bathtime, definitly daddy’s girl

Tags: Kahlan

You CAN birth naturally!

I work for a large company so “had” to go the hospital route or pay out of pocket. Additionally, some minor risk factors made my husband (and I’ll admit myself) a bit leery of going 100% natural in home, which, based on statistics and great books/films such as “Birthing from Within” and “The Business of Being Born” is the ONLY way to avoid an intervention. Even many home births still involve at least an IV. I’m here to tell you, I did it. I fought the system and won an entirely 100% natural birth in a hospital environment, with nothing more than the support of my husband and wonderful Doula Kath Axline! My beautiful daughter was born 09/30/09 and is asleep in my arms as I write this now, in the wee hours, from my phone. I’ve had so many people already ask me how I managed it, that I’ve decided to try writing my story and getting it out to the world. If my story inspires or empowers just one mother to succeed in the same way I have, it will be worth it. I started this blog and am slowly getting pieces up, the complete story to come soon. Know that it can be difficult to achieve in this country, but that it’s worth it, it CAN be done. Believe in your strength and ability as a woman to birth!

Transition - Not more pain, just more often

End of transition, about 10 min from starting to push!

1.5 Hours later...Houston we have a BABY!!!

Protect the first moments and hold your baby skin to skin, you never get them back

That's it? Piece of CAKE! Wait... is there cake? Someone please feed the mommy...

Our Doula Kath

Tags: medical intervention, natural birth, unmedicated