I did it. I wrote, illustrated, designed, and now published a book. If you’ve wondered why the baby updates have been few and far between, well here you have it. I’m a (self)published author!

In the days following my cancer diagnoses I became a bit depressed, morbid even, at the thought of not living to see Kahlan grow into the amazing woman I know she will be. I started writing. Now that my prognosis is more positive and my post-treatment health is getting back on track I’d like to share this poem. I wrote a goodbye letter for my baby girl and closed it with this:

If you can’t recall my sparkling eyes
or shining smile one day
you have but to seek a mirror love
for in you I’ll always stay.

Warm and safe within your heart
my memory will reside
for though we may now be apart
My love stays by your side

No. I did not get liposuction.

I got Cancer.

On January 17th, a week after having an irritated mole removed, I received the call. The call that changed my entire perspective. The call telling me that at 31, and having just had the most amazing baby girl the previous year, that I was now looking forward to life as a Melanoma Cancer Patient.

Bleak? Maybe, but that’s the crappy thing about cancer, any cancer, once you have it your never 100% cured. Your DNA has been blacklisted and even though you do everything right it can come back. So getting a cancer diagnoses can really do a number on your priorities.

Hence, I’ve lost touch with my digital outlets a bit. Sorry to anyone who’s been checking.

It’s now April. Spring is here and for once in my life, I am truly utterly and with every fiber thankful. I’m here. I’m here today with my Daughter. I’ll be here tomorrow. I’ll probably be here in five years. For every breath, for every moment I have with the two most important people in my life, I’m thankful.

I’m thankful for the six inch scar on my rear end. The scar that reminds me now that I’m a survivor. That each breath is worth savoring. That no moment should be wasted. Live. Love. Be.

After frying up some delicious Orange Flavored Chicken from scratch I wanted to filter and save the fry oil for another day (my biggest issue with deep drying is needlessly wasting all that oil) but didn’t have the time to stand there holding a cheesecloth lined colander over a tupperware bowl. Adding a Pyrex measuring cup to the CoffeeDripper left my hands free and made it easier to pour the oil back into it’s original bottle rather than using another easy to spill container. And yes, I have spilled an entire tub of oil in my fridge and it ain’t fun to sop up three cups of oil from between the goods.

As a newer convert to the Americas Test Kitchen, I can wholeheartedly assure you. Their Skillet Mac&Cheese with Garlic and Broccoli is WAY better than the Neon Explosion your used to. Check out the recipe for your self here.

I’ll be posting more pictures and comments of yummy home cooking to share and inspire. Anyone can cook, and it sure is better for you!

Makes 16-20 Pumpkin shaped pancakes

Whisk Dry ingredients in large bowl; Set aside.
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
4 tablespoons sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon each cinnamon, ground ginger, and salt
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

In Med bowl mix;
2 cup milk
12 tablespoons canned pumpkin puree (I prefer Farmers Market Organic Pumpkin Pie Mix available at New Seasons)
4 tablespoons melted butter (30-60sec in microwave then cooled)
2 eggs

Fold wet mixture into dry ingredients. On a 350 degree griddle (if using Med-Hi skillet make 1-2 cakes at a time and hold in 200 Degree oven on a cookie sheet to keep warm while cooking entire batch), pour 1/4 cup batter for each pancake. Use a spoon to drizzle a “stem” at the top of each. Cook pancakes about 3 minutes per side; serve with butter and syrup.

*I prefer Log Cabin brand cheap syrup since it’s one of few that don’t use High Fructose Corn Syrup, but if you can spring for the real pure maple stuff… Even better!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Knowing these innocent days of boundless joy and unhesitating snuggles are finite is sad yet beautiful. I’ve learned to bask in each hug like it’s the last and found time to stop for one more round of silly songs. I know the day will come when hugs are too embarrassing and mommy’s off tune singing is something to fear. So for now I memorize each embrace and sing ridiculous tunes until my throat is hoarse, and hope time will slow down just a little so my baby girl can stay my baby for just a few moments more.

She may not remember these first few years, but I will never forget them.